I started writing a post yesterday about how Chris and I ended up renewing our lease on the basement and it kind of went into how I can't wait to move next year maybe back to Florida maybe to another apartment and kind of dismissing the year that we will have in this apartment. Looking past it and hoping for something better, I even made a Pinterest board that i ended up deleting.
I was obviously a little bummed about the whole process, I had been so excited to move.
I was hoping for windows with views but here we are, same windows, same problems, same life.
Reading my post made me realize that I am always thinking about the next thing, never really living in the present and enjoying where we are in life.
We are young and married living in NYC with no kids yeah are apartment kind of sucks but don't most peoples apartments suck when there young? Unless you're a hedge fund manager or something.
I guess my point is that this is supposed to be an exciting time, like we can pretty much do anything at this point and all I can think about in my free time is planning the next step in life.
I think all I've ever done in my life is plan for the next thing.
I can remember being a kid and dreaming about being a teen and as a teen dreaming about moving away to college and in college wishing to be out of college. It just goes on and on.
Honestly it feels as though I never really enjoyed any point of my life.
I was always longing for something new and more exciting. It wasn't until the next thing came along that I Enjoyed the last thing I had. Example : when I moved out my parents house I appreciated and missed living there but wasted so many years complaining about living there and regretted that.
Yesterday I was also getting major life envy looking at Natalie's Instagram account.
She left the city! Her new place looks amazing, she might get chickens, and she has a sweet kid.
So many things I want! And i immediately started dreaming of leaving the city.
After looking at a few houses online I realized I could've been hanging out with my loving husband instead of fantasizing about the future. I was wasting time. Time that I will never get back, and even though kids and chickens will be nice at some point in my life, I really love (even though I complain too much) where I am in life.
Also, yesterday when I was leaving target I almost got smashed by three cars even though I had the walking sign! These cars just sped through their turn and swerved around me.
So, who even knows if I'll make it to the future I've been wasting so much time planning.
Sorry I haven't blogged more recently. Too much work and wasted time.
I hope all is well and that you all are living in the present too.
, by Beatriz Ramirez